Recently it has come into the question the wisdom of blogging all my thoughts and feelings as I chase my dream of living life to its fullest. The questions have been posed to me, "What do I really need" and "What am I afraid of?"
My answer to what I really need is simply, peace. Peace with my choices, peace with my outcomes. Peace in my here and now, and peace with the fact that I still have a whole future in front of me! With the help of God and the bible and a couple different podcasts that I listen to, I'm very near a peaceful existence. I have realized, through blogging after all, that life as I know it is pretty darn good! Now, of course I still have a few very specific people and circumstances that I practice forgiveness with and I'm obviously excluding my moments of family-related craziness, but for the most part, I'm good. What I've experienced in this life is so nothing compared to what some others have to contend with, so truly, come-what-may, I'm good.
Harder to deal with is "What am I afraid of?". My original answer to this question was, negative judgment. Guess what that answer was met with? Can you say, "God dishes out, what you have to learn most"????? Geez Louise! Well, as I sat with my "big girl pants" on I did hear one message louder than any other. This person said, "If you want it so bad, MAKE it happen!". That one stuck with me. Those words have played over and over in my head. What can I do to MAKE it happen? Isn't this at odds with the concept of trusting that God will provide what is needed to work for His glory?
Well, as always, the answers showed up in their own time and it was up to me to recognize and appreciate them for what they are... The weekend before my little lecture went down, I went to Milwaukee for a friends wedding (Congrats Nicole!) and who did I get re-acquainted with? Rodney, an old friend from my GMR days who just happens to still work at GMR doing their RV building and maintenance. Rodney was nice enough to give me all sorts of advice as to what type of vehicle would be best for us and then offered to be involved in the purchase of the RV to ensure its quality, AND to put us through RV-training to kick off our adventure when it happens! Is getting re-aquainted with Rodney a gift from God? I think so! (Rodney, if you happen to read this, know you are totally appreciated and DON"T get a big head about me saying you're a gift from God!)
Next, Dr. Jeff (owner of Waupaca Wellness Center) sat down and talked to me on his own accord. He said, "Amy, this is an incredible opportunity for you and your daughter, don't wait, figure out financially how your going to make this happen!" This inspired me to visit the Compassionate Touch website, the technique I use in my Eldercare work. From there I emailed Ann Catlin, the owner, regarding furthering my education, who in turn called me to encourage me to apply for the Teacher Training program and offered a payment plan that I can afford to help me complete my training. This is not only an EXCELLENT local opportunity, but would give me the ability to set up and teach Level One training courses throughout the USA!
As far as the houses go, I'm still praying on them. But behind, the scenes, things are definitely moving again in a positive direction - no matter where I end up!
So what's the moral of the story? Like in Massage Therapy, the work (words) may make you hurt a little bit, but that's not always a bad thing. Even the most painful experience can move you in a positive direction.
(As a sidenote - I love you Uncle Ernie...)